|
Favorits •
Web Domain Directory •
ODP •
Annuaire FR •
Directorio ES •
Directory EN •
Diretório PT •
IT Katalog •
Czech Katalog •
Polski Katalog •
Maps •
Satellite Photos •
View Card
|
||
|
|
Relationships |
|
|
| ||
 |
Relationhip Advice: 10 Magic Words
Just about every night at our house, we read a book called "Say The Magic Words Please" to our young son. The story has lots of magic words, such as "please," "thank you" and "excuse me." Why am I telling you this? Well, the other night the book got me to wondering about what the "magic words" might be for couples. You know, all those words and phrases we tend to forget after a few years of marriage. As a result of my wondering, and a highly scientific poll (I asked my wife, my friends and my clients, in that order), here are a few suggestions: "I Love You" - Gotta start there. They are such simple little words, yet if left unspoken, they can cause a lot of damage. When a person begins to believe that they are no longer loved, bad things start to happen fairly quickly. "Let's try it your way" - It's human nature to want to be right. For some, it's an addiction. Having the grace to say "Let's try it your way" says that you not only value the other person, you think you made a good choice as well. "Maybe you're right" - A cousin to "Let's try it your way," these words make room for the possibility that there is another valid point of view besides your own. "How can I show you I love you today?" - What a grand invitation! Imagine what it would feel like to hear that on a regular basis. "I'm sorry I hurt you" - So necessary yet at times so hard to say. Remember the '70s movie "Love Story" and its famous theme: "Love is never having to say you're sorry"? That just doesn't work in the real world. People tend to overlook the fact that in the movie the woman died young before we could see the long-term results of never saying you're sorry. "Please forgive me" - Usually needs to follow "I'm sorry." Many husbands have told me they feel they should wear a T-shirt that says "I'M SORRY." My question to them (and often to myself) is, "Do you follow it up with 'Please forgive me?' " Anyone can say "I'm sorry." That's fairly easy. "Please forgive me" does at least three important things: Acknowledges the hurt. Requires more vulnerability. Comes with a commitment not to hurt again, to change. Other magic words: Say your vows again. A real marriage, a continual wedding, if you will, needs much more than a one-time recitation of vows. Marriage enrichment experts Joe and Barbara Mills recommend that couples restate their vows at least once a year. "Would you like to go on a date with me this Saturday night?" When was the last time you asked your partner for a date? We all like to be courted, so call them up and ask them out! How about right now? If you're at home, go to a neighbor's house and call. Just do it. The results can be pretty cool. "Hi, I just called to say I'm thinking of you." Enough said. "How am I doing as a spouse and partner?" This one is only for the strong at heart. Most of us never got any hands-on instruction on how to do this marriage thing. We just make it up as we go along. Having the guts to ask how you are doing lets your partner know at least three things: The relationship is very important to you. You are willing to learn. You are willing to change if needed. So there we are, a few magic words for a marriage. How might your relationship be if you practiced these magic words, say, one a week for the next 10 weeks? Jeff Herring is a Relationship Coach, Speaker, and Syndicated Relationship Columnist. Visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com for more relationship tips and tools, a free internet newsletter and free e-programs to enrich your relationship
MORE RESOURCES: |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Relationship Advice: 2 Beliefs for a Successful Relationship Mark Twain once saidGod's great cosmic joke on the human race was requiring that men and women live together in marriage."Considering the difficulty of living with another person day after day and the incredibly high divorce rate in this country, the humor of the quote begins to fade. Can a Male and Female be JUST Friends? Introduction Have you ever heard or have you ever seen, father-son; mother-daughter; husband-wife; boss-subordinates; brother-sister as a friend? Might be yes, but how often and how genuine. At the end of a day, the message is, "mein tumhara baap hoon, jo mein kahta hoon, who karo" (I am your father, do what I say). Relationship Advice: 10 Tips for a Blissful Relationship 1.Often in marriage, especially in the early years, there is a choice: You can be right or you can be happy - not both. Relationship Conflict: Lock Horns or Lock Arms One of my favorite comic strips growing up was "The Lockhorns." Not so much because it particularly funny (although it was), but because it seemed like a great model for how not to do love relationships. If He Insists That You Work... Once, when asked about her life, former First Lady Barbara Bush said, "I married well."Is it wrong to want to marry well? Ladies, it's all about survival - and it's all about what you will be able to do for your children. Anniversary Blues Jamie and Kurt are a sweet, successful couple in their early thirties. In spite of loving each other deeply, they often find themselves in conflict over seemingly minor issues, as most couples do. Relationship Reality: Are Your Relationships Based In Reality or Fantasy? Within the next two to three minutes, you will uncover if you have had relationships based in reality or fantasy!I want you to recall a failed relationship and ask yourself one question, "Why didn't it work?"Initially, you may answer, "They cheated, lied, changed, etc." But be honest with yourself. Improve Your Love Luck with Feng Shui! Are you tired of looking for love without success? If so, the layout, furnishings, and energy of your home and bedroom could be part of the problem. When the areas of your home affecting your love life are cluttered, missing from your floor plan, or suffering from sha chi (harmful energy) it can be difficult to find and maintain a good relationship. How Not to Compromise With Your Partner Do you ever disagree with your spouse? Or your boyfriend or girlfriend? Of course not - she/he/it is perfect, right?You can imagine my shock when my friend confided in me that he and his wife often fought over tiny things."You're kidding. Soul Mates - Finding True Love and Commitment Finding your true Soul Mate is something that many people hope to do. We all long for that one special person in our lives to make everything wonderful. Squashing the Gay Relationship Killer Known As Jealousy IntroductionYou might feel it when that hot stud across the room at the gym gives your lover "the look-over." You might experience it if your ex-boyfriends ever cheated on you and then you project it onto your current man. Confession of the Egoists! Hamlet has given this generation an awfully amazing and defensive quote "to be or not to be". This article is not at all a serious philosophical one but the humor in life has given birth to a new philosophy. Why Do Men Cheat? In my relationship work, this question is probably the one I hear most often. It is not an easy question to answer. Bedroom Treason Just a note to ask if there are other married women and men who are happy in their marriage and in their affair at the same time? I am fulfilled at home, in the bed and emotionally, with two men meeting my needs.It would be great if I had found a guy who could satisfy me both emotionally and sexually, but it just didn't happen. Keep the Fires Burning The toys are put away, homework's done and the kids are in bed. The lunches are made and the dishwasher is on. Communicate through Body-language! Consider a person very important to you. He or she keeps on talking to the extent of boring you and make you feel like escaping from that place. After Retirement Separation - Life Just Gets Better! Life after retirement separation can be a very lonely one especially if you have no family of your own. You tend not to go out as often as you did when you were a couple. Society's Misconception of Soul Mates - Divine Source through Barbara Rose Society's current conception of the term "soul mate" is completely contrary to what the term really means. Imagine two gallons of water taken from the Atlantic Ocean. What Is A Boundary In A Relationship? You might ask yourself, I have heard this word boundary, but I do not know what it means. Boundaries are often mentioned in terms of relationships. Never Ever Show Youre Jealous O.k.
|